None to Blame
Is it possible that in all the travails of our existent life no one is to blame? It is just our human nature to stumble and fall, to become self centered and through our exclusion of other in our calculations we will hurt people along the way. Though in reality we can only hurt someone else if that person allows us to. Yes there are extremes of behavior that manifest physical violence and that is never acceptable except perhaps in instances of self defense. In nearly all cases, when we hurt someone emotionally we have hurt ourselves first. Our culture and society draws the inference that if someone is hurt there is a guilty party and therefore someone to blame. The minute we take victimization out of the equation there becomes no need to blame and find a guilty party. This is called innocent acceptance, a childlike quality. The great Teacher talks about this place in the good news of Luke 18:16-17.
In these first few days of the new year, with a torrential and cold downpour it becomes a natural behavior to reflect upon the past and boy there is a great tendency to find a comfortable place in guilt and self loathing about all of the missed opportunities and failed relationships strewn in the wake of one's past. At least it is a default position for this writer anyway. So I decided to open up some boxes that have been taped shut for about five years and I found some objects that reached inside my heart and soul, wrenched and pried open a deep reservoir of emotional memories that spilled out as if an open artery.
These objects were crafted by the hands of my two daughters. School art projects formed by the determined effort born of pure innocent acceptance of their assignments; free from self doubt that has no home in an innocent heart and mind of a child. As I studied these pieces of art, I noticed their names signed in their own hand on each and I wanted to hold them to my heart. I wanted to retreat to my default position of feeling guilty for not being the best father I could to them. And I remembered that I can only be the best father I can for them NOW.
Among the objects was a Tooth Fairy Box. And I thought to myself that there could be no greater symbol of childlike innocence than this wonderfully beautiful gift of the new year! I believe now my new year resolution will be to ask my good good Father daily for increased childlike innocent acceptance. When I opened the box there were baby teeth of my children neatly wrapped inside, very innocently. As I am firmly entrenched as a senior citizen now, I have learned we loose our teeth too!
Maybe I can get one of these boxes also and instead of finding money under my pillow in the morning, I might an additional measure of innocent acceptance. Father may it be so.
Amen my beautiful girls.
Bradford Bosworth
January, 2017
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