Pang Pong

Wanna play some Pang Pong?

         

“For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.”                                                                          Romans 8:22 (NKJV)

Creation Groans

It sure appears to me that the world I live in is writhing and contorting. If the world were an adolescent, it would appear as one squirming in his chair having the overwhelming urge to pee. Being too embarrassed to raise his hand in the middle of class to ask to go to the bathroom, he would rather tough it out till the bell rings and then sprint down the hall to the boy’s room. Oh damn! I have not been politically correct. I was supposed to write that description as he/she and the boys room should have been described as….err… what: the unisex room or transgender room? Now I have the urge of pulling the paper out of the typewriter, crumpling it up and throwing it at the wastebasket. Except this is not a typewriter!!!! Uggghhhh! Let the groaning begin.


Our scripture from the eighth chapter of Romans contains the word “pangs.” It is found in some classic translations including the New King James Version quoted above. In today’s world, the word “pangs” will likely not be recognized and even thought to be a typo by many readers. I also submit that by the next century the word might have already passed away from our spoken language. However, it is Webster’s second definition of the word that sums up the vibe of this “Pang Pong” post.

Merriam-Webster

Definition of pang
1: a brief piercing spasm of pain, the pangs of childbirth.
2: a sharp attack of mental anguish, pangs of remorse, a pang of guilt
    a pang of disappointment.

One thing I am certain of in our society and culture today is that there is a load of mental anguish whirling through our populace no matter what side of the political spectrum you may reside. When I begin to get caught up in the spin cycle of disappointment, I know that I must do some self-examination. I must refocus my attention on the Truth. I have many places that I can consistently find truth but the first and foremost location is in the Word.

Kilauea Burps

Allow me to put forth wisdom and guidance from the Word that helps me make sense of the creation groaning and pangs concept. In layman’s terms, ‘you can’t have it both ways’ sometimes expressed as, ‘you can’t have your cake and it too.’ (See Matthew 6:24, re serving two masters). First it is my human nature to want to depend on and be fueled by my will (ego driven) which is of this world and finite. By personal experience and a lot of faith, I am assured that when I align my actions with God’s will, the distressful pangs will roll away. Relying on the Creator of the Universe, I am now fueled by a groan-free infinite energy source.

What is happening in our country now, playing out on the political stage is a magnified manifested representation of what happens individually to us all. We can rely on our will fueled by the ego pushing God aside or we can search daily for the divinity within and rely on His will to guide us. To the extent we rely on the ego we will experience pangs of dissonance for the divinity within is our constantly burning eternal pilot light. As spiritual beings in a material body and world, we are continually engaged on one level or another in an internal battle between what is Truth and what is illusion. To the extent which we are fooling ourselves, beholden to our material delusions, will we be groaning. The house and kingdom divided cannot stand (Mark 3:24-25).

Which way do we choose?

The book “A Course in Miracles” frames our daily choice this way: “Would you be hostage to the ego or host to God?” We have this daily choice to make. To the extent that we land on the ego side of the net we will find ourselves playing Pang Pong.


Father God may it start with each of us individually choosing to be Host to your Son, so our growth pangs will come only from growing in Your Love.

Amen
Bradford Bosworth
June 2018

3 in the Tree

                                                                    Old Red Truck

It looked like a scene right out of "Ice Road Truckers!" Only thing is, it was the beginning of summer.  My neighbors were beginning to emerge from their houses with a curiosity that seemed to ask, "Have I seen this episode before?"  You see the extraction of the old red truck from my backyard at first appearances was overly dramatic.  It's slow emergence from the darkness under a winches' pull into the flashing emergency lights and steady rain was a perfect metaphor for it's former owner's (that would be me) life. This decade long restoration project was making a dramatic exit from my possession.  It was liberating for me to know it was leaving at just the exact appointed moment going exactly where it belongs. Our Creator never disappoints!

I bought the old red and white pick up almost 10 years ago. I was working for a metal stripping company called Eco-Clean. One of its spin off businesses was a powder coating shop which I managed for them. We did a lot of work for classic auto restorers. I came across this attractive old Ford with the standard transmission, a classic “three in the tree.” I guess you could say the red truck turned my head. I’ve always had a weakness for redheads!

I thought the truck needed restoring and I was just the guy to do it. Problem was, it wasn’t the truck that needed restoration. It was me. In a matter of months, I found myself at the low -drop off- point. I was dropped off at a rehab facility. My characterization of the place at the time and still today is that the facility was a cross between “Shawshank Redemption” and “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

I was finally and figuratively beaten into reasonableness. I was willing to listen and take suggestions. I had become teachable, a critical characteristic of those desiring to find some humility. I entered a program of recovery characterized by meaningful fellowship, mainly with other men who had the same problems as I. The recovery fellowship led me back to my Christian faith I had only mostly given lip service to.

I learned that sobriety meant becoming comfortable in my own skin. That the state of serenity characterized by sobriety is the same thing I had been hearing in Church my whole life. It is the same peace the Christ teaches and is a representative of. It is the peace that surpasses all understanding.

 

Back to the truck, well, I never got to it. I have been too busy attending to my own restoration. In the past ten years I have experienced losing a home to foreclosure, separation then divorce, bankruptcy and through it all I am stronger in my faith and most days more comfortable in my own skin. I am still sober! Praises due here.

Patrick with Eli's Old Red Truck!

It is time for someone else to restore that old red truck. I put it up for sale recently. Do you know what? It is one of the most glorious experiences I have had lately. That truck is going exactly where it belongs! Patrick, the young man who bought it, has a stable of Classic Autos he and his dad have rebuilt. But before we came to a deal, I asked if he planned to fix it up and sell it? He said no. He will give it to his son Eli and they will rebuild the old red truck together. We had a deal!

The best part is, the boy, Eli, is eight years old! I asked if he planned to teach Eli to drive in the old red truck.  Patrick said that it is exactly the plan.  It was the same way he had learned to drive with his father teaching in an old pickup with "three in the tree." To my eyes and ears this was the picture of our Father’s glorious grace that surrounds us all. One more thing. There has been on the dashboard of the old red truck a Crucifix with magnet made from Arizona desert cactus. It was a special gift to me and has been on the dash all through the trying years. I asked Patrick if he wanted me to remove it? He said that he wants to keep it there. 

Hallelujah Brother!

Bradford Bosworth

May 2018

Sweet Soul Music

The Joyful Content of Our Lives

The Queen of Soul

As of late I have come to some convictions about my life here on Earth. These convictions are mostly born of and driven by a decade long journey into sobriety and a growing faith in a triune God as represented in the Gospels and teachings of Christ Jesus. These convictions are that my purpose here on Earth truly, is only to provide joyful content and that content is derived from the objective daily pursuit of growing my relationship with my Creator, the Source of all that was, is and ever shall be. So for today, with one more step, I will attempt to further fulfill my purpose here on Earth.

I want to dwell on one Miss Aretha Franklin. This lady with Mississippi roots born in Memphis, Tennessee began in earnest her life of creating scintillating vocals in and throughout the soul music genre by singing in the gospel choir of her father's Baptist Church in Detroit, Michigan. I do not recollect the exact circumstance or timing, but I remember her recording of "Natural Woman" being spiritually moving for me. It has always epitomized the essence of "sweet soul music." Her life's artistic accomplishments as far a providing content would most certainly be pleasing to our Lord/Creator.

Natural Woman

Stop and consider for a moment how far and wide Miss Franklin's soulful voice traveled around this globe we inhabit. Ponder how deep her notes penetrated across cultural lines and barriers or how thoroughly they permeated people's daily emotional experience. Consider the distances in miles and social strata from the dirt roads of the deep south and the industrial inner city streets of the Midwest's Motown stages to metropolises like Amsterdam and Melbourne half way around the globe. God is happy when we bring joy (content) to our immediate neighborhoods. Imagine the size of His smile when our joy spreads around the globe!

It is hard to imagine a distance greater in culture and language than the expanse between the roots of deep south cotton field Gospel music and the passionate Italian origins of Opera. Well, thirty years after bursting onto the music scene in America as a twenty something "Queen of Soul," Aretha Franklin bridged a gap spanning four centuries. With short notice she stepped in for an ailing Luciano Pavarotti and performed the aria "Nessun Dorma" during the live worldwide telecast of The 1998 Grammy's from Radio City Music Hall in New York City. It was nothing but a miracle full of Grace. Her recorded performance of "Natural Woman" decades earlier had been spiritually moving but watching her transcendent performance on live television shook me to the bones. If providing joyful redemptive content for our world is our purpose here, then Miss Aretha Franklin you have set a standard to strive for.

Take a moment and experience Aretha's soulful performance of " Nessun Dorma."

Aretha's Pure Grace - Click to experience.

Amen Soul Sister

Bradford Bosworth

April 2014

It's Okay to Go.

Notes from Wesley Meadows - Part two of a two-part series.

I have come to believe that indeed my life has been one in two parts. The first part are the years, or days or hours where I think I am in control. The more I think I am in control, the more chaotic life happens. It is at my point of surrender- the second part- of letting go and letting God, when I come to the oasis of peace in a dessert of bedlam. Now, the wilderness places are fewer and farther between as my relationship with our Creator grows.

I had the wonderful blessing just a couple days ago to be a present and supportive witness as a sweet soul made her final surrender into the eternal arms of the Maker. (See:Part 1 Notes from Wesley Meadows.) I have never been in this position before of sober mind. I was humbled to have been invited into a place, an inner sanctum if you will, of pure grace.

The journey began with a phone call from my sweet friend fiancé Patti. Her mother Pat’s health and condition was in steep decline. Patti, being a week out of a rotator cuff surgery required arm sling, did not need to be driving solo for six hours. I became her partner for the sojourn. From the moment we hit the road in the driving rain, a lingering question echoed in my mind, “How long?” And a lingering answer kept following it, “Not for you to know!” Still my need for control forced me into possible future chain of event scenarios. Again, I had to surrender and turn it over to Abba. It will be according to His will. It was in this place of the obedient present moment where I would experience educative wonders in the everlasting.

Wesley Meadows

Toward the end of our first afternoon with Miss Pat I was invited to read to her. Patti gave me her copy of “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson. It was bookmarked at a section titled: Relinquishing Fear with a heading “Perfect love casts out fear.” It is a direct reference to one of my favorite pieces of scripture, 1 John 4:18-19. I began reading to Miss Pat. I knew she could hear me.

It has occurred to me, there were times when Miss Pat appeared to be struggling, perhaps in pain, perhaps in the decision to let go and leave her loved ones in this world. On occasion a nurse would bring a small dose of pain medicine. I had a feeling that she was stuck in a should I stay, or should I go dilemma. But what do I know? I have never been in this place before! After a very long day we said goodnight to this lovely Christian lady born and raised in Texas.

When we arrived at Wesley Meadows on Wednesday we found Miss Pat’s room had been rearranged. Her bed which had been flush to the far wall was now protruding from the wall. This way the family in the room could gather around her. The hospice folks at this facility knew what they were doing. I took it as a sign. I was able to take a different position when I read to Miss Pat this time. I chose to read from “The Greatest Thing in the World” by Henry Drummond. It is a wonderful treatise on Paul’s 1 Corinthian’s 13.

During our time with Miss Pat there were instances when she would make verbal proclamations. Two times stand out for me. Once we heard her say something that sounded like, “I got to get out of here.” I could only imagine her beloved husband Bob, Cindy and Patti’s father, standing just beyond the precipice hands outstretched. Another time we heard Pat exclaim, “Oh Shit!” Her outcry transformed a somewhat somber mood into a realm of heavenly humor. Family remarked it was an expression seldom heard. For me these words carried completely to my heart. My late mother Jeanne was very fond of this expression. So fond, she had it printed on a golf ball she used exclusively for putting. I could very well see Mom, a coaxing angel on the other side of the threshold, calling out to Miss Pat.

The sun was approaching a golden Mississippi sunset and I was anxious for Miss Pat. My perception was that she was struggling to let go. Just in the past two weeks I was involved in a discussion with my good friend Chuck whose mother was in a similar circumstance. I had asked him what he thought about the idea of saying to her it was okay for her to go. He said he had been thinking of doing the same. I decided to call my friend and found a quiet breezeway with some rocking chairs. In our conversation, he said to me that the family along with their Pastor had told their mom it was okay. Immediately after Chuck and I ended our conversation, Patti came to sit next to me. She and Cindy had decided to stay overnight with their mom. Patti, as well, let me know that Miss Pat's girls had let their Mom know it was okay.

I did not plan to stay but went out to pick up dinner. When I returned, Elizabeth was in the room with Patti and Cindy. Multi-generational agape love was once again flowing there. We began eating our dinner. Suddenly, the room became quiet except for the whoosh of the oxygen system. The three women, in unison, gently and softly moved to Miss Pat’s bedside. Patti was up on the left caressing her mother’s forehead. Elizabeth was kneeling waist high, also on the left holding “Grandmommie’s” hand. Cindy was on the right-side shoulder high caressing her Mom’s hair. I do not know how long. Time stood still. All I know is it is the most beautiful scene I have ever witnessed. I am assured Miss Pat knew it was okay, smiling ear to ear as she walked into the arms of Bob Young and our heavenly Father.

Miss Pat's Obituary

Amen Sisters

Bradford Bosworth
March 9, 2018

Notes from Wesley Meadows

Part One of two parts:

A Transitional View

(Author’s note: This post is from excerpts of a journal began the morning of March 7, 2018)

I am sitting in a chair facing a bed in which lies the 83-year-old mother of two daughters. This lady, who is as well a great grandmother, is living out her final days here in a facility I have always referred to as a nursing home. Nursing homes have never been a place that I looked forward to visiting, but as I am ever nearer to a similar consequence for myself, I am okay with it now. I am here in this room now visiting Miss. Pat with her daughters Cindy and Patti, my future bride.

Cindi, Patti and Miss Pat, (2nd Trip)

I have been to this facility just outside Memphis, Tenn. twice before. The first time - six months ago- was to meet Miss Pat for the first time. The second time was to express to her that I wanted to marry her daughter. The first time she initially did not recognize youngest daughter Patti. The second time at first, she did not recognize Patti or me. This time she was not conscious enough converse with any of us. It is my first experience seeing someone in the transitory life stage knocking on heaven’s door. And there is no doubt in my mind she is readying for the entrance through heaven’s gate. I know and love her daughter who I am assured was raised by Godly parents!

When a visitor turns into this senior living facility, the sign at the entrance - Methodist Senior Services- leaves no doubt about the guiding principles that provide the underlying foundation for the care administered behind these doors. Here the attention to residents is Gospel driven. Upon entering the front doors in a few steps on a table directly ahead, one will come face to face with the Word of God. On this day it was opened to John’s Gospel 10:25-11:30. The staff informed me it changes whenever one of the residents stops to turn the page.

As a sign of what is to come, I was walking down the hallway to Miss Pat’s room and inside a residence a few doors down I noticed a man solemnly gathering and packing belongings up. Then a bit later, I walked by and he was sitting holding a personal item in quiet reflection. Even later I met that man with a cart full of clothing. I held the front door for him and we had a revealing conversation filled with hope. His name is Doug. He was clearing out his sister’s room. Betty had passed the day before yesterday. Doug knew she was in a better place. Just a few hours later I was standing in front of Miss Pat’s bathroom mirror and noticed a picture fixed to the corner of the mirror. In that picture with Miss Pat was Miss Betty who had been a close friend. I no longer believe in coincidences.

Miss Betty, Wesley Meadows staff member, Miss Pat

A late afternoon moment of pure grace occurs when Elizabeth, Cindy’s daughter and Miss Pat’s only granddaughter arrives from her work. NOW there is multi-generational love flowing in this room. This agape is crystalline and many faceted, like a rare and precious gemstone. And “grandmommie” recognizes this outpouring as if yellow roses and angels for she almost sits up in bed, eyes wide and arms outstretched

There are many questions that arise and many decisions that need to be made, or not, during this world’s end of life process. Both of my parents died suddenly without warning, so at this place, I lack experience. I am unqualified to act. But by witnessing two daughters- who for their day jobs are nurses- at vigil with their beloved Mom, I realize that Love is the only qualification needed. It is the same redemptive love of Christ that can flow through us all.

“Everyone who lives and believes in me will never die -ever.” (John 11:26) HCSB

Amen Miss Pat

Bradford Bosworth

March 7, 2018

Writer's note: Miss Pat walked through the gates of Heaven approximately 10:40 est on March 7, 2018. Part two will tell that story.